LOCK Read online

  Table of Contents

  LOCK

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Chapter 79

  Chapter 80

  Chapter 81

  Epilogue

  MERCY

  1

  2

  HAVOC

  1

  About the Author

  Other Titles By Debra Anastasia

  Note from the Author:

  Acknowledgments

  Copyright © 2018 by Debra Anastasia

  All rights reserved

  Published by Debra Anastasia

  Lock is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are all products of the author’s ridiculous imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Except as permitted under the US Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

  Cover Design: Hang Le

  Photog: Mave L Hsiun

  Cover Model: Cocoi Castaneda

  Content Edits: Aimee Ashcraft of Brower Literary

  Line edits: Paige Smith

  Formatting: CP Smith

  T, J, and D: It’s always for you

  Chapter 1

  Ember

  TWO MURDERERS WAITED FOR me on the other side of the bathroom door. But I wasn’t coming out until the back of my hair laid completely flat. One last look and I was ready to go. I faced the closed door in my brother’s mansion. It took another five minutes to get up the spine to open it.

  The assassin was completely covered in a skeleton tattoo. From the top of his head to his feet. He was known as Mercy on the street, but I just called him Nix. His best friend stood beside him. A huge, beautiful black man who oozed charm and swagger. He was also a murderer—if he needed to be. And a mob boss, called Havoc by people who were afraid of him. Though I knew him as Animal. The hallway seemed too small for them both, even if the contemporary house was massive. They were a sight that would scare a lot of people. Most people.

  They were waiting on me. Havoc aka Animal had one foot resting on the wall and his phone in his hand. And they would wait all day if necessary. I knew they wouldn’t approve of what I was about to say. I finally opened the door. Both men looked up in unison.

  “Baby Girl.” Animal’s deep voice was probably half of the reason he was my first love.

  “Ember.” Nix aka Mercy was my brother. It’s hard to see the resemblance between us; I don’t have his ink. There’s no shading or highlights to make me more menacing. Nix had been waiting stock-still, not leaning. Feet set shoulder width apart. He’d learned an eerie calm at a very young age, when he would keep still for hours to avoid beatings from his father. Under a bed. In a closet. It happened before I was born, and after I existed as well.

  Despite this sad history, I was angry with them both. The women in their lives said that I was dragging the drama on too long. And maybe I was. I liked the attention, honestly. But I was still angry that they treated me like a burden, never giving me straight answers. And Nix stayed away from me for my whole childhood. My friends were so jealous that I had these two badasses following me around. They were a pair, for sure. But instead of the instant family I’d always longed for, I was set aside and monitored.

  I looked from one face to the other. Blue eyes to brown eyes. “I want to go away to school.”

  Nix’s eyebrows furrowed. “No.”

  He didn’t even give it a second’s thought.

  “Why?” Animal was always more interested in listening first, passing judgment later. Well, that’s how it seemed. But he would agree with Nix. They always had each other’s back. And I felt that pang of emptiness. That connection they had—I wasn’t a part of it. It came from history. Nix is eight years older than I am. He witnessed his abusive father kill our mother when I was an infant. His father’s rage came from my very existence, the possibility that I had a different father. Nix’s current girlfriend, Becca, was the one to put a bullet in Nix’s father over a year ago when he was trying to kill her; it seemed like the best possible outcome.

  But to say our relationship was complicated was an understatement. I knew Nix felt responsible for my safety, but deep in my soul, I was terrified he hated me. If I didn’t exist, Nix’s father would have never guessed our mother was unfaithful, and she’d still be alive.

  Animal was another situation altogether. Nix and Animal spent their teen years in the same home for children. Animal was close with the cop, Merck, who claimed he was my father. At Merck’s request, Animal watched over Nix while they were underage. And they became closer than brothers during that time.

  While they were becoming blood brothers, I was growing up with Aunt Dorothy, my mother’s sister. She loved me in her own way, a way that was laced with a little bit of hate and resentment. She told me often that my mother was the master of her own fate, that going back to the man who killed her was her own fault. Dorothy didn’t tell me about Nix. She shooed him away the few times he explored our neighborhood.

  I would have given anything to have him in my life. To feel like I belonged somewhere, even if it was just in his heart. To have an older brother as a kid? It was my dearest wish.

  I stared them down, Animal’s “why” echoing in my head. I didn’t want to get into it with them. It would make me cry, and that made things awkward. I lied instead.

  “To get space. From all of this.” I didn’t say that I wanted to be an equal with them. In on the inside jokes. The easy silence. They were a family, and I was just a job. A girl to keep safe
.

  I didn’t look at Nix’s face as he registered the hurt I’m sure my statement had caused.

  He’d been my stalker. Still was. I knew about him, but I didn’t know him. He watched me from behind cameras. He’d covered himself with tattoos and watched Becca and me from a computer or from beneath the shade of his hoodie for years and years.

  When we finally connected, when he introduced himself, I was seventeen. Almost done with my childhood and headed to adulthood. The young part of my heart rejoiced when I met Nix. But as I became more entangled in his world, I found that they’d kept the knowledge of who my actual father was from me. I’d spent my life thinking that Nix’s murderous father was mine. Instead, Merck the cop was waiting on the sidelines the whole time. Staying away from me. Staying out of my life. To protect himself and his weird, messed-up marriage.

  I was lonely. I made as many friends as I could to fill the void. I’d be the life of the party. But at home, Aunt Dor would look at me disapprovingly, telling me I was just like my mom, making horrible choices.

  Animal held out his hand, palm up, as if for me to take it. The wedding band clearly marked him as someone else’s. But I wanted to cuddle into his warm chest and find comfort there. He would hug me back, because he was that kind of guy.

  I hugged myself instead. I needed to block out the impulses to belong. To find what I needed here. They weren’t going to accept me as an equal. I would always be a little kid. Even though I was nineteen. Plenty old enough to do most things. But they clearly wanted to keep me away from their business. And their business was their life.

  Nix cleared his throat. “Where do you want to go?”

  He was using the big gestures, pointing at random spots in the air like there was an invisible map surrounding us. Animal folded his untaken hand into his pocket.

  “I think that’s my business.” I forced myself to meet his gaze. This was a big moment. I had to be the adult I was demanding that they treat me like.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake. I can’t have you out there—where in the world? Just–out there without getting to have a say in how far away and what kind of element you’ll be in.”

  He was legit getting angry. Animal stepped between us, his broad back making a wall.

  “Sweetness. You got to go for a smoke break.” Animal held his hands up.

  “I don’t smoke,” Nix grumbled. I shuddered when I heard the loud thwack. I could tell when Animal shifted that Nix had punched the wall. The drywall now had a ragged hole. There were a few of them in this house, mostly inspired by something I’d done.

  “Pretend.” Animal whispered a few more things to my brother in that calming way he had.

  Finally, Nix stormed off. I felt like my heart was crumpling. Part of me—well, hell—most of me wanted Nix to fight for me to stay. To not understand. Make me part of his crowd. His clique.

  Animal would be harder to convince. Nix had a habit of getting angry and going on about things that maybe he shouldn’t. But Animal—he’d convince someone on fire that they needed a lit match.

  He turned slowly to me, disarming smile in place. This guy was the poster boy for sex. And he knew it. I looked him up and down. Dark skin, thick muscles, and tiger tattoos. He was going to be much harder in general. He was good at seeing through me.

  “Baby Girl,” he started.

  “No. Call me by my name. You’re not allowed to sweet-talk me. You’re very, very married to a woman I respect. Turn down the porn star dial to like a two.” I held up my index finger. I was trying to get a leg up on him, even though I wanted to throw a leg over him.

  He tried to appear humble. Less sizzling. He sucked at it.

  “Ember.” His voice was its own vibration.

  “Never mind. Just don’t talk at all.” My shoulders slumped. He knew about my crush.

  “Why do you want to leave? Nix was so excited—when you called today, he thought you were going to announce you wanted to move back in.” Animal leaned against the wall.

  I shuffled my feet. High heels today. Too high. Tight jeans and a red shirt. My long brown hair was freshly streaked with colors. My going away outfit.

  “My friends are all at school. I want to have that experience.” That was what I’d practiced saying.

  “Now tell me the real reason.”

  His face was incredibly understanding. I gave up and walked into him. He shoved himself away from the wall to envelop me in the hug. He smelled amazing. Even though his body was rock hard, he was somehow still a soft place to land.

  He rocked slightly and patted my back. “Tell me, baby.”

  I spoke to his pec. “I need to find a life that’s mine. I need to find a friend who’s like you. My ride or die. I need to start the part of my life that isn’t tied up in all the things I’ve never had.”

  The tears inspired by my words were welling in my eyes like traitors and threatening my makeup.

  “And you can’t do that here?” His whole chest spoke, almost.

  “I can’t do that here.” I was sure of that. Here I had to be protected. Here I was reminded so often that I looked like my long dead mother that I was almost numb to it. Here I lived in the shadow of my aunt. My brother.

  “If this is what you really want, you know I’ll help you with him.”

  Nix. He meant he was willing to take the brunt of my brother’s paranoia and anger so I could leave.

  I nodded against him. I knew he would.

  “But there’s no way you get to walk out of here without protection. Anyone who is paying attention will know that you’re in this family. You’re a target for any enemies that might want to move on us. Nix won’t have it, and frankly, neither will T nor I.”

  Bringing up T wasn’t fair. His wife. My friend.

  “T is not going to be my bodyguard.” I pushed away from him.

  “She’s the only one Nix and I trust.”

  “My choices do not get to take away your wife. No. If that’s your only solution, I swear I’ll run away and stay away forever. Don’t test me. You guys just got married. Happily ever after. Find someone else. I’ll allow one person. But not T.” I grabbed the front of his shirt and gave him the harshest look I could.

  Animal put his hand on top of his head, the tendons in his throat standing out as he swallowed. “You know how he is.”

  I got on my tiptoes and widened my eyes. “I’m nineteen. What were you doing at nineteen?”

  He rolled his head to the side and made a hissing noise. “Girl. You can’t ask me that. Different worlds.”

  “Would you want to have been watched all day, every day?” I let go of his shirt and put my heels on the ground.

  “No.”

  “I’m not taking a newlywed woman with me to watch me walk around a college campus. She deserves to be here with you. She’s earned that.” Both he and I knew that T would do whatever he and Nix needed. Even if it made her suffer. It wasn’t fair to abuse that, and I told him as much.

  His love for his wife must have brought the understanding in his face. “Okay. But to go—for him to be able to stay in his right mind, you need security that we choose. He’s got impulses like the CIA and KGB had a baby when it comes to you. Have some mercy on Mercy.”

  Animal was right. And I didn’t want Nix miserable. He’d had enough misery in his life already. “Fine. One guy.”

  Animal’s smile appeared slowly and was topped off with lifted eyebrows. “Well, actually, you and I both know T is worth at least three guys. She’s ridiculously talented.”

  His white teeth were blinding and his dark eyes charming. “Fine. Three. You keep T and I get to leave.”

  He hemmed and hawed and looked like it was killing him, but he agreed to let me leave…as long as I brought three people along with me.

  It took me until after he’d hugged me and left me by my old guest bedroom in Nix’s house to realize that he’d gotten me to agree to just what Nix probably wanted.

  Slick, sexy man candy.

 
But that was that. I was getting what I needed.

  Freedom.

  Chapter 2

  Lock

  THE PARTY WAS OUT of control, but at this time of night, that was expected. The house was abandoned, but in our territory. The backyard had one of the very few pools in the neighborhood and the only in-ground one. The cement hole was the scene for skateboarding, graffiti, and sometimes fires. I ducked under a tree before concentrating on making sure my gait didn’t hitch. No fear. And despite the jabbing pains and deep bruises, I wanted to prove I was as close to a superhero as a human could get. Even if that was a huge lie.

  A red bandana was wound around my wrist; my arm was heavy with all it symbolized. I’d layered a few leather bracelets around it to make it seem less brand new.

  I had a black eye, but most of my injuries were less apparent.

  I was sweating with the effort it took to not limp. Not gasping about my ribs as I rolled my shoulders back to enter the crowd with a proud chest was possibly harder than getting kicked in them less than twelve hours ago.

  I nodded at the few faces I recognized. The crowd was college-aged, though not all present had academics as a focus.

  I took a beer from a guy just after he’d opened it for himself.

  “Bitch, what the fuck?” The guy started to protest.

  I grabbed the front of his shirt and watched as the anger drained out of his face when he saw the red bandana.

  I lifted an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

  The guy shook his head and waved his hands in the universal sign for “I might crap my pants; take whatever you want.”

  The simple act of showing up for the party was part of my grand plan. No one is expected to be up and walking for at least a week after being jumped into the gang.

  The quickest anyone had ever gotten on his feet was three days. So twelve hours afterwards was insane. But I wanted to hit the ground running. This was one shot I wasn’t going to miss.

  Murmurs followed me as I made my way through the rowdy crowd searching for Dice. My friend smiled when he saw me coming toward him. Dice had a slightly dingier red bandana on his wrist. I threaded my way through groups yelling song lyrics at each other. There was a poker game going on in the old crumbling outdoor kitchen. Three different songs polluted the night, each from a different phone. The air was thick with smoke—cigarette and weed.